The morning habit I've adopted is to get up, take the dog out (this morning he insists on just resting by the bone from the grocery store he received yeserday, no interest in the outside world today), heat water for my morning cup of green tea, drink said tea slowly while turning on computer, opening 4-5 tabs in Firefox for MyYahoo page, the bank, my Facebook page, and several other interesting reads.  Opening several tabs allows this impatient dial up constituent to patiently flip through the interesting reads while others are loading up.  It's how I deal with with dial up.  The biggest challenge comes when I become inspired to actually write!  Then I must wait for the application to do its thing and I must be patient or things go horribly wrong!  I have begun to carry the new laptop in the vehicle (that I've loaded OpenOffice on to save the Microsoft fee for Office Suite) in order to access the high speed at my daughter's where I find myself on a regular basis.  There I can upload photos, surf to my heart's content and pretend I am in the world of everyone...

Extended from anita_margarita :

1) What is the origin of your LJ name? Gaelic for the tender name my grandson tagged me with during his Shrek era.  He was Shrek, my guy was Donkey and so I am.. (think about who Donkey hooked up with).  We were the three amigos but now that trilogy is the grandson, my guy and OUR DOG!

2.) The title of your LJ: I once had my aura read many many years ago, I think I journaled about this in the beginning.  It was a rose reading - My "roots" are not in this world, I am an observer for the Brotherhood of the White Light.

3.) The sub-title of your LJ:...continuation of the title.

The moon was officially full last night - dreams were just incredibly weird...makes it feel like there was no sleep at all.  Eyes all puffy, back all tweaked, mind all twisted with partial memories of off the wall non experiences.  Make it go away!

After the Friday bear cub visit, we tried once again to hook up with my guy's cousin of sorts that lives in this county on the other side.  We had missed the family reunion in Scotsdale Father's Day weekend and they brought a family portrait and some picture cds.  We dragged the grandson along as his mom was in a wedding (on July 4th at 4 in the afternoon outside in Redding!) and after exploring their lot next to a pond on the Millville Plains, he fell to sleep in a rocking chair while the grups yakked.  A couple of hours of yakking and I have a close to home geneology resource now.  He belongs to the local club and does research for anyone who cares to engage him.  He has access to all those things I am too cheap to purchase - Google and a cousin on the East Coast have helped me greatly in my research - and offered to help me with some of my roadblocks.  This is so exciting!

I've had such a bad attitude lately that I'm journaling in the celticly-embossed leather-covered paper book I began carrying with me again (it had lots of pap about how to be a good team player, inspirational quotes, profound crap mostly about work), posting more regularly to my Facebook, and here.  This purging is beginning to work, it's not quite there yet, as you can see from an anti-work perspective in this missive.  It's not that I want to turn that, it's more that I am driven to find my half full glass.  That's who I am, that's how I feel, that's what's real for me.  My guy has such a talent for bringing "things" into his sphere of perception, but his glass is invariably half empty.  He ALWAYS expects the worst to happen so as to be prepared for those events.  That's who he is, that's how he feels, that's what's real for him..  I, on the other end of the scale (our birthdays are two days apart in Libra, we married on the day between - giving each other to each on our birthday!) expect the best hoping to bring that into our sphere.  This can lead to some exasperating conversations on the hour drive into town or back.

So, just for one little rant - as we returned to this patch of heaven located eight miles from the end of the earth and prepared for settling in after dark, putting the ice up, putting the groceries away, starting the generator...  my guy comes into the house to say that someone on the ranch is setting off fireworks.  No, he says, shooting up in the sky BIG FIREWORKS!  I'd heard the booms of what I thought were big guns which is not necessarily unusual after dark around here, but as I walked down the drive to see what he was talking about OMG! we're talking full on COR pyrotechnics!  Full bursts in the sky, very colorful sparks flying everywhere...!  Thank goodness it was probably a mile or so to the west and looked like it was projecting from very near to the middle of the Middle Fork Cottonwood Creek.  I smell no fire this morning but will fret all day.  People.  What part of knee high dry grass and sparks don't you get?

So just as I begin restoring my prosperous self - a bear cub wanders through the yard!  Positive energy can be so mysterious... The hybrids went a little nuts and the cub seemed to want to visit with them.  Wild meets wild - though they never actually got to touch noses.  My guy put some water down by the tree the cub climbed but alas the cub decided to move over hill and dale without the drink offered.

I thought I posted a pic.  But now I gotta reboot - ah the joys of dial up... 

Some disappointments these last few months have held the tongue lately.  The frustration has built, spilled over and is now beginning to ferment around the edges.  This is the time when holding one's tongue is the most important.  Sometimes it is more difficult to see the forest for the trees and when those trees begin to shoot their widow makers upon the ground all around you, perspective becomes the most difficult to keep.  That happened yesterday when I demanded (respectfully requested) that my boss's boss reassign some departmental duties elsewhere.  She suddenly had to get another line that was ringing.  I know that I'll be sorry for that spillover. 

Today I begin the process of regaining my prosperous self, seeking the lining to these clouds and moving forward... less of a team player, less of a Polyanna, more focused on relevant  tasks. 

Hot - too early for hot - holding off on the garden now because of the heat?  Will probably put inthe first stage of corn today, seeds don't care how warm it is, and then will relook at plants next week.  maybe Thursday, as I took some time off to accompany my guy to a forrestry conference and not knowing when exactly to go, I took an extra day.  Too bad, so sad, I need to burn the time and quite frankly could use the day digging in the dirt.

Middle child will be moving this week, the grandson and I tallied up how many houses he's lived in in his 7 years and that equals the number of places I've lived in my 55 years - 7!  Hopefully, this one will last as long as his other house now.  They've been there for 3 years. 

36 days 11 hours 16 minutes to opening day at the Chico Outlaws! 

The adminstrative move I experienced in December is kicking my behind at the moment.  I've advised many folks that after about 3 months in a different assignment your brain severly halts, refuses to remember even where your coffee cup is.  That's where I am.  And they swapped out my electronic brain due to a change in carriers in the middle of all this so I couldn't even rely on my backup.  I find myself with no time for anything, all those efforts toward becoming the master of my thoughts are backsliding, the only time I feel myself is when one of my management team partners insists on prioritizing counting things...  That's when my What are we trying to acheive?  How do we know we're doing that?  self returns to the soapbox.  I don't care how many we have - I care about defining why we're doing this incredibly technical stuff day in and day out - helping families and individuals return to self sufficiency.  We'll always have too many, can't do anything about that, but we can choose to do this or that or not do this or that in order to do what we do better.

Anyway, yesterday my guy and I went into spring training for following the baseball.  Drove 250 miles for his cousin's (they grew up like brothers) 60th surprise birthday celebration - and back!  A lovely spring day tour down the heart of California with flowers, trees and green grass everywhere in abundance! 

The oldest sibling (35) spent a long weekend visiting from Portland.  We had many long hours of really good family time.  They BBQd at the middle sibling's Friday night and then came out here Saturday and BBQd and bonfired and had many great conversations.  I was cook cook cooking on my new gas BBQ (push the button - FIRE!!! no more waiting for the coals to die down to the right temp...) and missed some things directly, like the gate to the hybrids compound was inadvertently opened and the older wolf joined the party in the back yard.  He's most aligned with the youngest sibling and so they just visited for awhile.  Apparently the grandson tumbled off the the wolves' longhouse roof too...  There is nothing better than siting around a big fire with people you love and just talking about whatever comes along.  The siblings talked of happy times growning up, refreshing to know this stage in their lives has finally come. 

We toured the county after the monsoon subsided on Monday.  Hit Whiskeytown, Keswick and Shasta dams all in one day.  I don't recall a more enjoyable time as a family.

What a glorious windy day yesterday was!  As I contemplate the long drive to work this morning I fill up on the beauty of where I live so as to dip into that pool throughout the inevitably long week. 

The pup (coming close now to a year old) discovered the stock pond in the front yard yesterday and while he did not actually swim, he did have hours of fun just chasing the bubbles that flew from his feet as he trotted through the water deep into his chest but not where his feet did not touch the bottom.

My guy cut the grass and laid some new 2 x 6's on the porch that had rotted.  I pulled weeds in the flower bed and sat on the swing watching all the rest.  I made a delicious pot of hocks and lentils/split peas and we watched the World Classic Baseball matchup of the USA and Venezuela.  Go USA!

• Today is the birthday of my two children born seven years apart 31 and 24 years ago.  They have both brought much joy into my life and as was noted in comments on Pink Hollyhock's blog, children's birthdays are special to their moms...  
• Both our ponds are finally full and beginning to run off!  I am hoping that this storm brings a healthly snowpack to the mountains and we get closer to at least a normal year.
• Yesterday was the 15th anniversary of the passing of my little brother.  He filled me with laughter, challenged me to re-evaluate my opinions, and left me with some incredible books and an amazing picture of a dancing man...  He thoughtfully passed through the veil on the day between the kids' birthday and my little sister's birthday.
• I'm becoming the master of my thoughts. 

Peace  and health to you all!

Borrowed from anita_margarita
Here's one from Facebook and it's fairly inclusive.

You know what to do: Bold the ones you've done.

Things you have done during your lifetime:

Gone on a blind date
Skipped school
Watched someone die
Been to Canada
Been to Mexico
Been to Florida
Been to Hawaii
Been on a plane
Been on a helicopter
Been lost
Gone to Washington, DC
Swam in the ocean
Cried yourself to sleep
Played cops and robbers
Recently colored with crayons
Sang Karaoke
Paid for a meal with coins only
Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.
Made prank phone calls
Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
Caught a snowflake on your tongue
Danced in the rain-naked
Written a letter to Santa Claus
Been kissed under the mistletoe
Watched the sunrise with someone
Blown bubbles
Gone ice-skating
Gone to the movies
Been deep sea fishing
Driven across the United States
Been in a hot air balloon
Been sky diving
Gone snowmobiling
Lived in more than one country
Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
Seen a falling star and made a wish
Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
Seen the Statue of Liberty
Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle (did stand at the bottom and looked up)
Been on a cruise
Traveled by train
Traveled by motorcycle
Been horse back riding
Ridden on a San Francisco cable car
Been to Disneyland or Disney World
Truly believe in the power of prayer
Been in a rain forest
Seen whales in the ocean
Been to Niagara Falls
Ridden on an elephant
Swam with dolphins
Been to the Olympics
Walked on the Great Wall of China
Saw and heard a glacier calf
Been spinnaker flying
Been water-skiing
Been snow-skiing
Been to Westminster Abbey
Been to the Louvre
Swam in the Mediterranean
Been to a Major League Baseball game
Been to a National Basketball Association game

 

There's this place on the 30 mile path I travel every day to get to work where the road switches back and forth along a hillside between a long forrested valley to the view of the Northern Sacramento Valley that my family calls "the curves".  It's a very special aerodynamic place where giant red tail hawks can float or hover on the air stream...  This morning there were no less than 4 birds performing their very special ballet; hovering, then dipping to pick the stream back up again, then hovering and tilting their wings back and forth like some special meditational state and trading places now and then.  I pulled over where the curves straighten out and stepped outside the vehicle to just watch for awhile.

This filled me with a peace that is difficult to put into words...

I have My Yahoo set with all kinds of news: my local paper, other news outlets, snopes, weather, sports central, local movies, health tips....  the news column down the middle today is just awful.  I choose not to click on any stories with their bleak bleak headlines.  Today I choose to be encouraged by the turn in leadership coming Tuesday, I choose to encourage whoever I can to hang on, hand on - better times are coming, could take a little while, but let's stick together in our hope!

The Wolf Moon is always toughest for me.  I don't know if its the perigee (the closest point to Earth in the year) or the nature of time of year.  Days are short, nights are long - though we have begun the slow transition to the inverse... but especially this particular year.  I can't sleep, I worry about our earth.  There are trees that still have not lost their leaves, there is barely any grass, no water in the pond in front of the house and the biting cold!  We had dinner with friends the other day and because one of them is a State biologist, the topic of weather always comes into play.  La Nina is on the horizon, she generally brings dry times...cold dry times. 

Yesterday I could have laid out in the yard to gather some sun color...  this early morning it's 46 on the porch.  I used to call this part of January the false spring.  A good time to dig holes and plant trees as they have just several weeks to lay their roots before the frosty starts again.  This year I don't know what this is...

I have some regular reads: anita_margarita , Pink Hollyhock, News Cafe and I'm grateful I have an open mind.  I can pick up history stored in other peoples' minds and try to pass it on to those I care about.  Thing is, usually it is not as interesting to them...  anyway at Pink Hollyhock I stole this snippet about whistling:  
"Whistling, however, is strictly taboo; to whistle is to converse with the devil or invite him in. Sailors, actors and actresses, and miners are particularly aware of the ill luck associated with whistling. On board ship, whistling is thought to raise a storm. In the theatre, it is believed to close the show prematurely. For miners, it is a sign of alarm." 
She was writing about the noise making at New Years...I want to remember this...

Waiting for spring, the MLB launches a new network on the satellite...  I'm adjusting to this daily between the lines exposure during the short days and watched last year's World Series over the week end.  I know - what an idiot...  but you know there are lots worse ways to escape reality!

2008 - I've seen blogs with personal review of the year in pictures.  What a fabulous way to document our lives! I've got this disability with a dial up that I'm so hoping to rectify with satellite high speed this year...  My eye sees what my heart holds and the camera goes everywhere.  I'm also learning to be discerning and so those thousands of digital files stored on my guy's laptop may begin to deselerate in their accumulation... 

On to my third work assignment in the last 12 months and looking forward to its challenges...  On to watching Raiden grow through his puppiness into his dogness before our very eyes... On to guiding the grandson through life's bumpy patches... On to supporting the number one son to whatever baseball holds for him this year...  On to loving my guy into our golden years...

May the roof above you never fall in and the friends below never fall out.  HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU TOO!

I can't believe I went shopping yesterday.  My guy seemed to think that since we have things under control that walking about with all the last minuters wouldn't be oppressive, but could actually be fun.  I wonder where all these folks live!  We wandered about the popular spots: Costco, Wally's World, World Market, and The Mall, had a couple of long conversations with folks we don't see much of - a favorite piper and another baseball dad who's son was signed by the Phillies last summer...and we actually spent more money!  I look forward to staying home today.

Last Sunday we drove up beyond Platina like anita-margarita did a few weeks ago.  The weather was supposed to turn nasty later in the day but as we were strolling back off a little traveled road on a fully snow covered forest service road, it began to snow heavily upon our heads.  We had the dog with us so he could really see the snow for the first time...  I thought we would be burning the tires and eating crackers by the time we made it back to the car, but of course we have a nice little 4WD suv and made it home just fine by way of Red Bluff.  Kinda the long way home, but my guy wanted to check in their purchasing venues for something he was looking for...  it snowed on us all the way down the hill, past the R Ranch, well into the outskirts of Red Bluff.  We were just sure that we wouldn't make it home, but I think I wrote about that already...

What a difference a week makes.